just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize