please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
