i would punch a child for taco bell
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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