One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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