U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
