this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
