Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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