thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Farmville is her only friend.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
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Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
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The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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