you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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