Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
