Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I understand Curling. That high.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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