I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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