i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
