I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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