I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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