i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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