Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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