so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
