we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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