ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
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