He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
