I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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