I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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