Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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