it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
