that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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