Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
