i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
