remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
