I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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