Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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