I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
