True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
