Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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