he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
