I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
