I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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