I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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