using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize