So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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