First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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