this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
