just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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