if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Your penis caused this!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
