So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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