i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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