I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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