Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
