How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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