Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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