what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
