Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize