every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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