I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
