Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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