As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
