you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
