I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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