I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
