Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
