I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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