Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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