I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
