Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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